I think you say - so, like, meaning is, like, openness and connection, maybe adventure, like I was saying. SEGARRA: Yeah, you talk about - that people fall into these categories often of, like, leaning more towards stability or leaning more towards meaning. What do you do next? What do you bury? What do you listen to? And, you know, and I love just - we each have our own kind of expression of it, right? But when you're feeling pulled apart by two completely opposing desires, it's very confusing to know really how to step forward. And those two things are always tugging at me.ĭOYLE BYOCK: Yes, absolutely. And it reminded me of a conversation I had with a close friend where I was saying, you know, I feel like I want to be grounded, but I'm also restless, and I want adventure. One of the central tensions for quarterlifers (ph) - and you talk about this in the book - is between wanting stability and wanting meaning. Satya wrote a book about this called 'Quarterlife: The Search For Self In Early Adulthood.' And she and I talked about how to do this work and build the lives we want. SEGARRA: Now, defining that something and creating it - that can send you on your very own hero's journey. And so there's a lot of longing for something better than this. It doesn't feel like this adulthood that we've achieved is all that life is supposed to be. SEGARRA: Satya says often people at this age feel unsettled, stuck at a job they hate or in a city that doesn't feel like it fits.ĭOYLE BYOCK: You feel like, wait, this is what I've been working towards? This is what all of childhood seeks to achieve, is this? There's something that doesn't feel quite right. It feels very scary and disorienting, and there's a lot of high pressure both to survive and to supposedly also be having fun and, you know, feel like the world that is often kind of crashing around us is safe to be in. SEGARRA: There's this popular misconception that this time in our lives is carefree and easy.ĭOYLE BYOCK: I don't think that that's the lived experience of most people in this stage of life.

SATYA DOYLE BYOCK: I define quarterlife as being roughly ages 20 to 40, give or take a few years on either side. Psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock calls this era our quarterlife. A lot of us go on our own version of the hero's journey in our 20s and 30s. It's Luke Skywalker in 'Star Wars,' Simba in 'The Lion King,' Katniss in 'The Hunger Games.' It's Dorothy in 'The Wizard Of Oz.' Notice anything about these characters? They're all young, and they're just starting to step out on their own.

This is the foundation of so many ancient myths and fairy tales and modern ones, too. It's about a person who goes out on a quest in search of something - usually, you know, greatness - and along the way, they learn, discover who they are, what's important to them. SEGARRA: Are you familiar with the idea of the hero's journey? It's a structure in stories and books.

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